Throwing Rocks at Slow-Moving Trains

I suppose that when you submit what you think is a really cool short story to a really cool science fiction magazine but then don’t hear anything for three months, so you query about your ms (per their guidelines), but then also don’t hear back about your query, you should probably–despite your pathetic hopes–add that submission to the rejection category and move on with your stupid, little existence.

Eh?

Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.

Aaaaaand that title has nothing to do with this blog entry. I’m helter-skelter. And I can’t write much of anything lately. Anything “short,” I mean. Just the novels. Sorry. I will post some older stuff. I swear. Pinky swear. D’aw.

Writing Carbs

You know that Novel That Will Get Me Published?

Well I must be buttah, because I’m on a roll!

And not one of those shitty rolls they reuse at those quick, turnover chain  joints you direct mid-western tourists to go when they demand you tell them a “real Italian place.” Nah. The kind of roll Sal has his guys make fresh at that small, family-owned, family-run place you went on your first date like six years ago; the one off the beaten path, far down a couple blocks that only you and a handful of people know about that sells chicken Parmesan like your mom used to make when she still cooked like she gave a damn.

Yeah, I’m on that kind of a roll.

Hell yeah.

Desert Sun in the Winter

Red the West
JCD Kerwin

I like to talk to cowboys in bars,
wondering where they’ve been and
what kind of dust their boots
have turned up.

I think maybe the twinkle in their eye is
a reflection of the kind of life
I dreamed of when
I was too young to realize
my rocking horse would never
take me to Texas.

Blues escapes their lips
like cigarette smoke and
I hear the twang of
sweet Carolina lullabies
when they sigh.

I smell the perfume of
the girl they left behind
when
they throw their coat across the stool
and stare,
waiting for the past to disappear
for one last time.

I talk to cowboys in bars because
I never saw the West except
in picture books and
watercolor paintings of
some blood-orange, desert sky.

I bet they see
a thousand, brilliant stars
when they close their eyes.
I bet they wish
to ride all night
beneath an indigo-colored sky…

[I’d like to be a cowboy
and ride all night until
I can’t remember
myself or here
at all.]

Dec. 2012

Why I Hate Tying My Shoelaces

Flipphantomskip
JCD Kerwin

I want to twirl glow sticks
around my fingers and
dance all night
like a burning, shooting star…

And maybe I want
to draw on brick walls
with crayons
like I still see the world
covered in white paper.

Maybe I want
to play make-believe games,
laugh when I drink too much, and
have hangovers in meetings.

Maybe I want
to get a bunch of tats
because then I’d finally look
like what I feel inside.

Maybe I want
to chase down my dreams
for a few more turns
‘round the clock,
and not worry
where my next meal is coming from.

Because maybe I just
don’t give a damn about falling
when I try to fly.

Dec. 2012

Because I’m Not Feeling Mushy Today.

Made of Clay
JCD Kerwin

I’m not much of anything.
I’m just a something
some guy
in a white cloud
decided to form one day
because he knew
I’d be damn entertaining.

He laughs
at all my fuck ups
and wonders why
he never made
me earlier.

Or maybe I’m molded
after some broken Edo samurai,
who gave their heart
to save the world.

Maybe I’m a rock star
incarnate,
pretending and faking
to be a hero up on stage.

Maybe I’m not
special at all;
I just think I am
because it makes
words on paper
seem more worthwhile.

June, 2011