Running to Stand Still

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Blade Runner 2049 movie poster

That’s a U2 song. 10 points if you got it.

I’m…here. Surviving. Trying. I guess.

I’ve had a tough time battling my Depression and Anxiety, and there have been some pretty sad family issues over the past few months. I haven’t written much. But those aren’t really the reasons I haven’t picked up the pen… I feel pretty worthless as far as being a writer goes.

I keep reading stuff by other [better] writers and getting rejection letters, so my self-esteem is pretty much at the bottom of the barrel right now. All I want to do is tell stories, you know. Save people. All this is such a broken record if you’ve followed this blog…

I finally saw Blade Runner 2049 the other night. The original Blade Runner is one of my favorite movies of all time. This sequel is right up at the top of the list now, too. I don’t know; I watch stuff or listen to music and it does something to my brain and my heart that makes me want to try again–try telling my stories again, I mean. You put that soundtrack and story together and well, I guess I am inspired again. I am now inspired to work on my sci-fi novel and maybe even some short sci-fi pieces.

But it’s in a sad sort of way. Like, “what’s the point?” I know they’ll make me happy to write, but half the reason I write is to bring joy to other people. And at the rate I’m going, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that at the level I want to. I’m losing faith in myself, I guess. Or maybe I’m just ultra-depressed right now.

I have lots of short stories out at mags and I’m still waiting to hear back on the Novel That Will Get Me Published at the newest pub. company I sent it to. It’s only been 3 months, so I probably have some more waiting to go.

Anyway, I guess I’m off to dream.

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Better, Faster, Stronger

the-only-wat-to-get-better-at-writing-is-to-write-and-read-quote-1

*except it’s “way” not “wat”

But it’s still true.

I started this short story about six years ago and ever since, I have revised and redone it at least ten different times.

…and I’m about to do it again.

It’s one I want to include in my short story collection, and one I’d like to get published beforehand, so I want to make sure it’s totally rad. As I was going back through, it I realized I’m not happy with it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading a lot in general lately, or maybe I’ve just grown as a writer since I first started it, but I really think the story is crap as it stands now. Needs work.

Just an update for you…and a motivational quote from Stephen King.

Good News!


Like Professor Farnsworth says, I have good news. One of my short stories has been picked up for publication. It will be broken up into two parts; the first part will run on June 12. It’s my time travel story. And it happens to be one of the stories I’d like to include in my short story collection. 

I’m excited.

I’m also cruising on this new novel. It’s also, surprise, sci-fi. It’s pretty rad. 

More later. I desperately need get back into the swing of things here. 

Madness

I’ve dropped the ball on updating this. That’s not very professional. Though, I don’t suppose I really want to fake being some stuffy, “professional” writer; I’d rather just be myself. That’s a can of worms.

Anyway. 

Despite a multitude of other shite going on, I am amped and thoroughly stoked in the writing department. I edited and revamped The Novel That Will Get Me Published. I am really excited about it. I’m sending it off to a new indie pub that I really like. I’m hoping for good things. 

I’ve also begun work on a couple other novels that had been sitting at the wayside. Yeah, boiii. Really excited about that, too. 

Also, I’m revisiting my sci-fi short story collection. I’ve decided to drop a couple of stories from it. I’m not happy with them and I’d rather not force the whole thing. I want to be pleased and ready with the collection. So, if that means I have to wait a little longer until I write a few better stories, let it be so. 

Still waiting to hear back from some mags regarding prose I sent off. I suppose if I haven’t heard by now…. HA. 

And, uh, I’ll try to get back into the swing of things here. Though I’m not promising anything this month because it’s the NCAA tourney and well, March Madness… you know.

Harvesting My Brain Juices

 

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Fall the Red Door-Manning Street, Philadelphia by moocatmoocat

 

We’re well into it, but Happy Fall, everyone! Huzzuh! It’s my second favorite month: October. (It’s also my birth month. ^_^)

Last year fall (and winter) was a hard time for me because I hit rock bottom as far as my depression and anxiety goes. This year, I am staying positive and looking forward to the new adventures and opportunities it will bring. Plus, it’s freaking gorgeous outside.

My new job is going well. I love the place and the people, and the work is great. I’m doing lots of editing and writing. Thumbs way up. I’m so thankful.

I’m very excited for next month. It’s National Novel Writing Month!

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I don’t know if I’m gonna follow the rules and write a novel, but I’m definitely going to sit down and WRITE. The other day I had a great plan to rework a couple novelettes into short stories for my sci-fi collection. I’m still three stories away. I don’t want to rush it or anything, but I’d like to finish the collection by end of the year. (My old goal was by end of summer, but, well, yeah…) I haven’t been working on these novelettes because I’ve been concentrating on the short stories, but I’ve hit a wall with them (no ideas). Then I realized, “Wait, these novelettes are sci-fi and I really, really want to write them. I know, I’ll turn them into short stories! I can always go back and make them longer later if I decide.”

So that’s my plan right now. You’re excited for me, I can tell. Shucks, thanks, dolls.

I’m also working on coming up with more tips and tutorials, too. (Don’t worry, that hasn’t totally faded away.)

What about you? Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? What are you going to be working on?