Writers are Alcoholics

Writers are Alcoholics
JCD Kerwin

Writers are alcoholics.
We drink India ink and
eat coffee grounds for breakfast.

We sit in bars,
lamenting regrets
and chasing memories.

Our eyes are bloodshot
from looking for answers
on typewriters.

We are invincible,
shielding ourselves with words
and wielding pens like swords.

Writers are alcoholics.
We get drunk of existence
and regurgitate Heaven.

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Figments in Ibiza

I’d like to say I’m back, but let’s be honest…

Figments in Ibiza
JCD Kerwin

I could have been
in laser lights, magnified
by my own
euphoria.

I could have
measured my worth
by punches,
not by sad songs
echoing late at night.

(And I bet
my PF Flyers would
have worn out long before
the brown
from my eyes.)

I could have been a hero;
Instead, I play pretend:
I make paper beds
and in my head,
these pencil sticks
are cigarettes,
and with these pens,
I slay regrets
like I’m a knight
in forever armor.

But I’m nothing but a dreamer,
and I feel a little weaker
while I keep reaching
in garbage cans
for stars.

I could have been
invincible
if I wanted:
just let go a roar and
watch my breath
move mountains.

I could have been…
but I ended up like this.

(September 2016)

Returned

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My library/study, where I stare at the screen or paper and wait for the “magic” to happen.

I’ve been away for a couple weeks. Sorry about that. I had been worrying about a job interview I had and, maybe more than that, I got discouraged again. (Seems to happen a lot lately…)

I’m trying to force myself to ignore the negative voices in my head. You know which ones I’m talking about: the ones constantly telling you you’re no good and won’t amount to anything. I think we all have those.

In the same vein, I’m trying to get back to my roots, so to speak. It’s my dream to “save people” with my stories, yes, but hell, I just like writing. So, I’m still working on my short stories for my future collection, but I’m being cognizant of how awesome it feels to write them for me.

I’ve found some writers groups in my area. I have mixed feelings about the discovery. I’m totally stoked on one hand and can’t wait to check them out; on the other hand, I’m terrified I’m not good enough and everyone will laugh at me. (I have a lot of self doubt.) Gotta get my courage up.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I haven’t disappeared. I’m back with tutorials and tips, and maybe some writing, too. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.

Stay tuned….

J

Encouragement

I mentioned I have this plan laid out to hopefully get my name and work out to the public this summer. I’ve tweaked it a bit, but I’m still hoping to self-publish a short story collection and get some stories published in magazines. I’ve got my FB site up and I’m working on revamping my website. So things are good…

Mostly.

I’m trying really hard at this. Yet, I keep seeing all the other people who are doing it, too, and it’s really disheartening that “Yeah, you’re special alright, just like all the other people who are JUST. LIKE. YOU.” I’m trying very hard to make myself stand apart from all the other wannabe authors out there. I’m trying to get magazines and journals to publish my work, but I keep getting rejection letters…

It just gets very discouraging.

Today I came across this advice blog. It’s quite old (from 2010), but the content remains relevant.

The first bullet got me: “Don’t let yourself be intimidated by big dreams.” I really like that. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with how big my goals are that I think I’ll never “get there.” I have to remember that I can only get there by taking one step at a time. I have to set attainable goals first. I just think that phrase helps to refocus things.

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I also came across this column about what to do when faced with so much rejection.

I send SO MUCH stuff to magazines and journals and, well, as you can see by my published work page, I rarely receive any acceptances! It really drags me down once in a while. I felt the above author, Holly McDowell, presented some good points, particularly the one about giving yourself permission to write.

A lot of times I feel like giving up after I receive a rejection letter. I think “What’s the point? I’m terrible.” I have to remember that that was one rejection letter. It’s okay that someone said “no” and that it doesn’t mean everything I write is terrible. It’s not a reflection on the rest of my writing, and it doesn’t mean I should stop.

Well, I figured I’d pass these along just in case anyone else needed some motivation as well. 🙂

Remember, you might feel down sometimes, and that’s okay, but don’t ever give up! Believe in yourself!

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