Failure

writer-depressed

So it’s NANOWRIMO…. Every year I have the best intention to write every day and complete a lot of writing work. And every year I fail horribly.

I tried really hard this year but as each day went by, this giant wall just hit me. I can’t write. I haven’t been able to write for a long time. It seems like it’s been this way since I finished The Underground Dogs.

I thought I broke the block the other day when I came up with a new plot for one of the novels I have going on. It doesn’t seem like it, though. I still can’t seem to write anything of the story.

I can’t seem to write anything at all.

I don’t know why, really. I think some of it is that I feel disappointed that The Underground Dogs isn’t selling as much as I hoped it would, so I have this feeling of “What’s the point of writing anything if no one is going to read it?” Another part of me just always thinks my stuff is crap, and then yet another part of me is so let down at the fact I’m a tiny drop in an ocean of other “writers” trying to get their words out there. (I wonder how many of them are really storytellers though?)

I just don’t know what to do. I just hope I can force myself to sit down and write something soon. It’s making me very sad and I think it’s just making my depression worse and worse…..

New Novel Published!

Hi everybody! I’m happy to announce that the moment is here: The Novel That Will Get Me Published is published! It is available in e-book and paperback form via Amazon, or by special order from a local bookstore. (The amazon pages for the two versions aren’t linked yet; they will be in a few days.)

Here are the links:

paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1074337468
e-book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VZTL6L3

I’m very excited and very proud of myself. This was a long journey and I’m so happy to have completed this. I am so thankful to M for helping me and supporting me throughout the whole journey, and to my friends and family for helping edit and give feedback. I would not be here if it wasn’t for any of them!

I have an author page up at Amazon, too. You can check it out here: http://amazon.com/author/jcdkerwin. I know it’s not much yet,but it’s my humble beginning. I will be adding much more. I already plan to publish a short story collection later this fall!

So, check out my new book and let me know what you think!

Flying High

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Hey weberverse,

I’ve got some good news. My short science-fiction-western story, “The Bounty Hunter,” is going to be published in the April-ish edition of the sci-fi magazine, Bewildering Stories. How cool is that!? I’m very excited. I’ve sent some other pieces out, too, and I’ve received one “no,” but am still waiting on others.

Also some cool news. M is going to be designing the covers for my short story collection and The Novel That Will Get Me Published. So once he does that, I am going to self-publish them with Amazon. I’m thinking that’s another spring release. I’m not sure which one I’ll release first…

I’m also on new medicine and it’s working really well and I feel great. 🙂 In general, I feel really uplifted, positive, determined, grounded, and mindful. I know a lot of it is probably the medicine, but I also hope some of it is how much work I’ve been putting into fighting myself and trying hard to practice mindfulness. I’m also proud of myself for sending stories out and working to get my stuff published. Hurray for hard work and positivity!

Up, up, and away!

May Update

Howdy.

Something cool happened regarding The Novel that Will Get Me Published. I sent a query and the first 30 pages to a publisher and they asked to read the whole thing. That was pretty awesome in itself. They eventually said no, but it was one helluva complimentary rejection letter:

“Thanks so much for sending your full manuscript. The voice still blows me away with its pace and tone. You’ve captured humor and intensity at the same time. Although it is an intriguing concept and a well-written account, I didn’t fall in love with it. I wish you all the best.”

I was disappointed, of course, but just the fact they liked it so much made me think, “Gee, I’m getting really close!” Bittersweet. It was cool.

I’ve been submitting all sorts of stuff again. Short stories, vignettes, etc. Things that were rejected, I’m turning right back around and submitting to other places. Hash tag determination.

I’ve taken a break from Facebook. Place gets on my nerves sometimes. Gets to me, y’know? So far I feel better. More time for writing! 😀

Anyway, the weather certainly helps things, too. Thumbs way up.

Stay cool.