Automatic Rocking Horse


Automatic Rocking Horse
J.C.D. Kerwin

Let’s play hide-and-seek
in the fallout shelters
we built from pick-up sticks
and a barrel of monkeys
we found
buried in the sand.

I have a pocket full
of licorice whips, and
I’ll give you
a penny for your thoughts if
you tell me what it takes
to fill a double-barrel shotgun
full of daisies instead.

I’d rather play jacks
and read the Hardy Boys
in the post-Apocalyptic world
with you than
live a long, long time
in the never-ending peace
I call monotonous depression.

We could be kids again.
It could be our Mad Max movie,
and we could rule the land
with slingshots and bubblegum balls.

I could Marco Polo our way out of here.

Dec., 2011

JUNK-A-TRUNK

JUNK-A-TRUNK
J.C.D. Kerwin

Now there I go again
falling over my toes and
make-believing like I’m dreaming
I’m not really staring at the carpet.
I’ve got a smug little smile on my face
like I’m someone different than
who I see in mirrors.
(I look a little thinner but
I’m still the asshole who can’t
turn pencil sticks to cigarettes.)

I hold out my finger and pretend to pull the trigger.

Got headphones on my ears because
when I got the swagger
I think I’m something better, as if
the pen flicks I carve in paper
will stick around like cave paintings.

I watch them fade like electrical storms in the desert.

I got a twinkle in my eye
like I can see through walls but
I’m no superman and kryptonite
is my breakfast of champs.
(Can’t even spread my cape and fly right;
I just fall like a frown.)

[I dream the dreamy hero tales but
each time I’m named the winner,
the big bad wolf comes howling through the picture,
and my world comes crashing down like I’m bad
and Little Red’s got a shotgun full of tacks.]

Skip-trip over my shoelaces
and suck down runny eggs
while I contemplate my fate today.
Another hardcore meeting while I discover
which way I’ll fade away and how
I’ll kick my feet to keep my head above the water.

In my younger days I ran with Mario and Link.

I drink black coffee from my irises
‘cause I stay up late and walk, slow-motion
through the places I created in my mind.
(I’d lay out the welcome mat but
you wouldn’t find the way through jungles
without a machete and a map.)

I’m shooting for the Somewhereland I won’t ever find…

Now there I go again
falling over my toes and
make-believing, make-believing, make-believing
like I’m dreaming that I’m dreaming—

PS, post this:
I imagine I crush the world
when I clench my fists;
I set the world on fire
when I recite this script.

May, 2012

Fryin’ eggs

It’s hot here in New York, folks.

And it made me think of this:

And that makes me thinks of summertime when I was just a wee one, rockin’ out to Golden Oldies tunes in my grandmother’s kitchen while she made pies for my  uncle’s restaurant.

But all that has nothing to do with this poem I wanted to post.

Great Big Fish Bowl
J.C.D. Kerwin

I wake up drowning
because the faucet’s running in my head.
It’s like a fish bowl made of
brick and stone,
and there’s already goldfish
sliding through my ears.
I open my mouth,
but nothing but gurgles
and bubbles escape my lips.
My tongue toys with the idea
of eating flakes for breakfast,
and I can’t help but stare
at my reflection in the glass.
But I’m not made of scales;
I’m made of water,
and I don’t know how to swim.

April, 2011

Well, maybe it does because it’s water-y. I guess I just want to go swimming, danget.

Snow in June.

White Red Refuse
J.C.D. Kerwin

I begin:
unblemished and pristine,
like the first fallen snow
at the end of November.
But soon,
I am dirtied and yellowed,
bloodied from the corpse
of a deer carcass:
forgotten in January.

June, 2012

Head, Meet Wall.

If you’re new here, I want to be a fiction novelist. To get my “foot in the door,” I’ve been submitting short stories and prose to magazines and journals while I’m finishing up my current mss.

I recently sent one to a “big name” sci-fi mags on my list and my story just got rejected. (Whatever. Try another one.) But the way it was rejected is probably one of my top favorites. It just tickles my funny bone! …So much that I want to scream and punch a clown.

The mag lost the response email to me. I knew they had responded because I checked their URL for the status of my story. And it said they had responded. So I had to go ask them for my response. And they were all nice about it. So of course that little annoying voice Hope (that asshole) said “See? They wouldn’t be that nice if you just got rejected…”

But I got the letter anyway and I felt stupid for getting all hopeful because I’m so damn used to rejection letters that I should have just seen it coming. (But the funny thing is, no matter how much you see them coming, rejection letters never get easier to receive…)

Let me recap that whole thing for you: I had to ask for my rejection letter.

It doesn’t get any more stab-you-in-the-heart-kick-you-when-you’re-down than that. Well, yeah it does, but I’ll just wait to write about that one. ‘Cause I’m sure that’s coming. Ha.

Keep on the sunny side, kids. Taste the rainbow. And all that crap. The end.

EDIT:

AND I just got a brand new rejection letter. (I can’t even keep count anymore!)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is awesome.

No it’s not.

But if I don’t keep laughing, I might start screaming. Or crying. Or punching cute, fuzzy things.

…Well, no, I wouldn’t, really. I’d probably hug them in a corner while listening to Fair to Midland on repeat. Yeah.