Numb

Comfortably Numb by JohnKyo (DeviantArt)

Numb
JCD Kerwin

It’s 9 pm in July.
I hang my arm
out the car window
so I can feel
the cold so I
can feel something
other than me—
the humanity
of me.

I keep it there
until it numbs;
the feeling spreads
deep into my heart.
I smile;
thankful for
an emotion other than
depression.

I’m sick of
never-ending
existentialism.
I wish I could
wake up and become
a robot just like them.
At least then I wouldn’t
feel pain anymore;
I’d just feel nothing
at all.

(July 2015)

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Tumble Dry

Sometimes I randomly think of things or moments from the past. Sometimes they’re too vivid.

The City: Laundromat by Lori Nix

The City: Laundromat by Lori Nix

Tumble Dry
JCD Kerwin

We met
in the back of a laundromat,
in plastic chairs
much too big for us.
You told me where your life was at,
and he was the one, in fact,
you gave it all away to.
I wasn’t mad,
and I wasn’t sad
(you thought I’d never
speak to you again),
but I will admit it hit
and made my heart
fall and clank
like quarters on the floor.
No more talks,
rainy walks,
or dreaming of
Neverland.
It’s okay; I’m glad
you fell in love and
went your own way.
I just wish we hadn’t left
all we had
in the back of a laundromat.
(Dec 2014)

Fire Power

This is what happens when I’m the only sober person left in a bar.

…I can’t decide if it’s desperate or just plain corny.

Please ignore the silly punctuation.

Fire Power
JCD Kerwin

You are born with your eyes blazing;
a thousand summers, shining,
like fireflies in the night;
a billion supernovas gasping for a breath;
just once
upon this earth,
and then you shatter,
dance,
skip a beat,
and explode
like those lightening bugs
bursting into stardust—
a cold, August night.

(September 2013)