See what I did there?
Dangling Modify This, You Witch
JCD Kerwin
Spoon.
If you haven’t a clue
how to do
my job,
then don’t pretend
my occupation
is a waste of your
consideration.
It makes you look
like an arrogant fool
(and frankly,
an asshole).
It also puts me
in the annoying position
of having to dig
through your mountain of bull
with only a
(Sept. 2014)
This is non-fiction, fiction.
…Figure that one out.
Bayoneting Sustenance
JCD Kerwin
I stay up all night,
watching the History Channel tell me about
all the presidents and what made them
(or didn’t make them)
a great leader.
It’s a marathon,
a marathon of watching me
grow more apathetic with every
click of the goddmaned
ticking machine.
(I hate that clock…
I guess I don’t care—
enough to get rid of the clock,
I mean…)
I live off coffee and cigarettes
like some teenage model with
anorexia.
But I’m content,
to thin, and
sink farther into upholstery.
Maybe by the time I emerge
as a tattered little butterfly,
the world will be long-gone.
Maybe I’ll find an unused stick
of cancer
buried in these cushions.
Worth a shot.
Or two.
(Sept. 2014)
It really grosses me out.
Vomitus
JCD Kerwin
I’d really like to know
why all these people
feel the need to eat
ten different times
a day.
As I sit in my cube
(a classy, simple drab-gray),
all I hear is crinkle,
crunch,
gulp,
and munch.
Makes me nauseous
when I think
they’re insides must be saying,
“Slow down, please!”
How can you really
completely digest
the oatmeal and bagel
from breakfast,
in time to inhale
a pound of leftover
lasagna?
(Remember to sneak it
in-between
your snacks of
chips and cottage cheese.)
I can’t help to wonder
what the hell they eat
for dinner.
No wonder this country
can no longer fit in its jeans.
(Sept. 2014)
Intimidate-shun
JCD Kerwin
the more
you implore
i listen, and
you open
that foul mouth
and spit,
the more
i think
you look
just like
a hippopotamus
prostitute.
(Sept. 2014)
Work’s been adorable.
EXHAUSTion
JCD Kerwin
Old guy next to me
is rollin’ down the window of
his big rig.
He lifts a match and
lights up on his cig—
arette.
Got the ugly kind of face
to match
my darling dis—
position.
(Sept. 2014)
J.C.D. KERWIN 