Rainbeats

There was jazz. And vodka. And the beginnings of a short story. Then this happened.

Rainbeats
JCD Kerwin

Take my heartbeats.
Take them with the raindrops
when they fall.

Keep them as they roll
off your black umbrella;
catch them in your palm,
and lay them on your lips
so that my soul may kiss
you once more.

Listen to the thunder;
imagine it’s my heart
exploding as it says,
“I love you,”
in ways words never can.

Imagine it is me
in the rain,
when you toss all night
in summer.
I will cool you with mist,
like it’s my fingertips,
and we are beneath the stars
again.

Take my heartbeats.
Take them with the raindrops
and forget about the sun.

June 2015

Untitled

It came to me in a rush.
It’s probably not even good.

[Untitled]
JCD Kerwin

I’ll stab this pen
a thousand times,
to make my stories
run red with blood.
My heart will look
like a tattered valentine,
but the moon will shine
through its holes
like a billion stars,
ready to dance,
in time,
with your heartbeats.

March, 2015

Waltz of the Flydragon

Had something. Then I didn’t. Then I did. Still not sure. All I know is I was mad/upset about something at the time. Also, “fly” ‘cos its usually considered insignificant, but a dragon isn’t…Yeah…Get it? I tried.

And I this still needs work.

Waltz of the Flydragon
JCD Kerwin

I pound fists against the wasteland like I’m beating out the reflection on the windowpanes, the reflection I don’t want to see that the world keeps shining back; the one I want to make fade into a thousand shattered Neverwases and Yestermemories. I phantomdream. I phantomdream in the claustrophobic every days, silently dreaming everyone’s pandemic voices into some sort of half-assed remedy for the moment’s pain. I make-believe. I make-believe of happy fucking butterflies and hackneyed, skipping stones gallivanting across Walden pond made tepid and trivial in every grownup’s dead and buried imagination. Maybe I will take a boat and sail, stop and drop an anchor, and wait until the whole damn vessel sinks. The dead water to carry us home like all the ships before.… (The sea maiden and me: We will dance in suspension like the frost fish.)

But I am not finished.

I light up cities and jump-start my own heart, shouting at gods like I’m Oblivion. I will stare at you with glowing irises, like I am captured, freeze-framed in the night by a thousand spotlights. Catch your own lost dreams within my eyes; count your memories and fairytales within the spark. I make supernovas collide. But someday when I’ll dance on cosmic stars, you won’t see because you never opened your eyes. My heart will skip beats and you will miss it when I leave the room, miss it when I grab hold of whatever dragon I dug from whatever faraway mountain I dreamed, once upon a time.…

Now I inhale, breathe ink dust, and explode.

(August, 2013)