Numb

Comfortably Numb by JohnKyo (DeviantArt)

Numb
JCD Kerwin

It’s 9 pm in July.
I hang my arm
out the car window
so I can feel
the cold so I
can feel something
other than me—
the humanity
of me.

I keep it there
until it numbs;
the feeling spreads
deep into my heart.
I smile;
thankful for
an emotion other than
depression.

I’m sick of
never-ending
existentialism.
I wish I could
wake up and become
a robot just like them.
At least then I wouldn’t
feel pain anymore;
I’d just feel nothing
at all.

(July 2015)

Nomads for Change

Homeless Homonym
JCD Kerwin

My heart beats in another shade of red and
in some other dimension I think
I’m sipping coffee
as a blonde
with a grin as wide
and bottomless
as the mug I must be holding.

Music notes
make my eardrums explode
here.
Over there
maybe they make
me see
symphonies of color.

Over there maybe the mess of mush
slopping against the white hard clay
holding my eyes in place
is where I can become
a permanent fixture
in words I put to paper.

put
words
to
paper.

Magic marker paper maker.

I’m the Maker
of legends and dimensions and
somewhere else I think I might
be someone who is free.

I grow nauseous at the sight
of robots.
I’m not sure they know
they’re blinking just the same
as each other.

I want to vomit inside out
and disappear in music notes
made into
India Ink.

Story Time can become Reality TV
for me.
I’d like to be
that Reality TV star.

Nov., 2012