Nomads for Change

Homeless Homonym
JCD Kerwin

My heart beats in another shade of red and
in some other dimension I think
I’m sipping coffee
as a blonde
with a grin as wide
and bottomless
as the mug I must be holding.

Music notes
make my eardrums explode
here.
Over there
maybe they make
me see
symphonies of color.

Over there maybe the mess of mush
slopping against the white hard clay
holding my eyes in place
is where I can become
a permanent fixture
in words I put to paper.

put
words
to
paper.

Magic marker paper maker.

I’m the Maker
of legends and dimensions and
somewhere else I think I might
be someone who is free.

I grow nauseous at the sight
of robots.
I’m not sure they know
they’re blinking just the same
as each other.

I want to vomit inside out
and disappear in music notes
made into
India Ink.

Story Time can become Reality TV
for me.
I’d like to be
that Reality TV star.

Nov., 2012

Plastic Shields and Wooden Swords

On the Burning Away
JCD Kerwin

A siren screams and
radiates back the screen
of my black and white, black static
cellophane, underwater,
claustrophobic world.
I never see,
never see,
I never ever see kaleidoscope colors,
never a light-bright cornucopia of
my ten-year-old, happy-go-lucky dreams.
Those stupid fucking reveries
blew up in brimstone fire when
I learned there’s no such thing as Faraway
and you can’t sew stars into your pockets.

[The fruit of a thousand apple trees would
taste better if the snake would nicely mention
the seeds are made of cyanide.
Instead my eyes go wide
as I lean back and hack
for air while I wait to breathe again.]

It all fades together in the same old
coffee-drenched, psychotic robotic days.
The air smells like burning plastic and
we’re all electric blinking lights trying so damn hard
to make math problems into Green jobs because
no one gives a shit about paper anymore.

Libraries are just graveyards for all the little children’s dreams.

When I grow up I’ll keep a junkyard
so I can save out-of-date non-collectibles
that everyone’s forgotten and
everyone thinks are just myths
and legends of a time that never was.
(I’ll keep books in my basement and
become a relic just like them.)

I’ll wrap myself in armor
and scream stories at computer screens
and make-believe
the people of the world can hear me when I say
I’m saving them…
I’m saving them…
I just want to save you.

Oct., 2012

The Gold City

For M…It’s been a tough weekend.

Building El Dorado Out of Paper
JCD Kerwin

My heart beats blue.
Colors from your eyes
turn my world into a Ferris wheel,
a topsy-turvy circle made of truth.

Near a barn in the country,
by a tire swing in trees,
I first picked up battle sticks
for you.
(Heard your voice in the wind:
years in the future where
someday I’d see your face,
and kiss your lips on a beach
near Pacific greenish-blue.)

History was written in the sand
for me and you.
We made Atlantis in the ocean
with a hundred broken seashells
we thought were magic in our hands.

With words I’ll freeze time just for you…
I’ll write every sentence just for you…
Make my pen into a sword just for you…

Burning stories turn to gold
just for you.

Nov., 2012

Bloodshot Detours

Bloodshot Detours
JCD Kerwin

She gets bloodshot eyes and follows railroad tracks from her head. She follows them to memories he laid for her when he left her cold, forgotten and skin and bones when he said she wasn’t worth the warmth of a lesser man. She blinks dead, glazed eyes and sees black birds on the tracks, pulling off the flesh of all the friends she left behind. [She pulls at her own skin, hanging loose against her ribs, sticking puncture-like from her body while she wonders when the birds will come to claim her for their final meal.] She follows tracks to the town she remembers, but doesn’t, because all she wants is the life she never had, the life she almost had before he kissed her lips and drove the blade into her heart. (Her salty tears across the metal: tarnished silver made it rust the faster.) She walks at Dawn to find someone who can keep the train away for one more day; someone who can keep it away until she finds the way home.

Nov., 2012

Broken Bells made me do it. That’s my excuse.
[End]

How Horror Movies Start

[Untitled]
J.C.D. Kerwin

I stared at the fluorescent light tube nestled in the panels and furled my brow. It blinked and buzzed electric, and I pissed alcohol. The dank bathroom reflected back dirty tile in-between the grey light, white light flickers. The tap was running. This was how horror movies started.

I had offended the pretty pair of legs I was with when I bravely suggested we go back to my loft. She “wasn’t that type of girl.” Well, I wasn’t that type of guy, but she was the one wearing fish nets and a skirt so high I could see her ass. Besides, I just left Lisa. Or rather, Lisa just left me. So I was lonely; I needed someone to tell me I was still worth a damn.

The bar was half-empty and it was only eleven. Some crappy country song was blasting through the speakers and I frowned. I dropped bills onto the scuffed wood before waving goodnight to Jim and pulling my collar up around my neck. (Rain falls heavier when you have nowhere to go and no one to see.) I lit a cigarette and slopped five blocks to my broken hole in the world…

 

The beginnings of another short story. I don’t know where this guy is taking me. I hope it’s somewhere good…