Failure

writer-depressed

So it’s NANOWRIMO…. Every year I have the best intention to write every day and complete a lot of writing work. And every year I fail horribly.

I tried really hard this year but as each day went by, this giant wall just hit me. I can’t write. I haven’t been able to write for a long time. It seems like it’s been this way since I finished The Underground Dogs.

I thought I broke the block the other day when I came up with a new plot for one of the novels I have going on. It doesn’t seem like it, though. I still can’t seem to write anything of the story.

I can’t seem to write anything at all.

I don’t know why, really. I think some of it is that I feel disappointed that The Underground Dogs isn’t selling as much as I hoped it would, so I have this feeling of “What’s the point of writing anything if no one is going to read it?” Another part of me just always thinks my stuff is crap, and then yet another part of me is so let down at the fact I’m a tiny drop in an ocean of other “writers” trying to get their words out there. (I wonder how many of them are really storytellers though?)

I just don’t know what to do. I just hope I can force myself to sit down and write something soon. It’s making me very sad and I think it’s just making my depression worse and worse…..

Keeping Up With the Joneses

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You ever get the feeling you’re not doing enough? Maybe not living up to what you’re “supposed to do?”

Word.

Sometimes I feel like I’m falling behind as far as being a writer goes. Like, there is some guidebook all other writers got on their first day, but I didn’t get it. So now I’m failing the grade, so to speak.

Right now I’m referring to how it feels like other writers are constantly pumping out writing and I’m sitting here struggling to write one thing in months. How are these people popping out stories and poetry like they’re robots? I don’t get it. Then I feel inferior like I’m doing something wrong.

Don’t misunderstand me; I have the “spells” where I go on writing bouts—the up-all-nighters where I can’t stop and I do pump out a short story or two, or a few poems, or several chapters of a book in a week or such. But, how are other writers doing this presumably all the time? Don’t you have a day job? And my day job consists of editing and writing other things, so of course I can’t concentrate on my personal writing. Grr.

How, I demand to know, how?

Maybe other writers made deals with the devil. O_O

In any case, it makes me want to get my butt in gear, so maybe it’s all a good thing. I want to write more to keep up with everyone else, but at the same time I think that isn’t necessary; I should write for me and when/where I feel like it… Sometimes I am not confident in myself or my words, though, so I don’t feel it’s worth it. But that’s a whole other blog post.

Anyway, what do you think? Do you ever think you have to keep up with everyone else?

-JCDK

Writers are Alcoholics

Writers are Alcoholics
JCD Kerwin

Writers are alcoholics.
We drink India ink and
eat coffee grounds for breakfast.

We sit in bars,
lamenting regrets
and chasing memories.

Our eyes are bloodshot
from looking for answers
on typewriters.

We are invincible,
shielding ourselves with words
and wielding pens like swords.

Writers are alcoholics.
We get drunk of existence
and regurgitate Heaven.

Harvesting My Brain Juices

 

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Fall the Red Door-Manning Street, Philadelphia by moocatmoocat

 

We’re well into it, but Happy Fall, everyone! Huzzuh! It’s my second favorite month: October. (It’s also my birth month. ^_^)

Last year fall (and winter) was a hard time for me because I hit rock bottom as far as my depression and anxiety goes. This year, I am staying positive and looking forward to the new adventures and opportunities it will bring. Plus, it’s freaking gorgeous outside.

My new job is going well. I love the place and the people, and the work is great. I’m doing lots of editing and writing. Thumbs way up. I’m so thankful.

I’m very excited for next month. It’s National Novel Writing Month!

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I don’t know if I’m gonna follow the rules and write a novel, but I’m definitely going to sit down and WRITE. The other day I had a great plan to rework a couple novelettes into short stories for my sci-fi collection. I’m still three stories away. I don’t want to rush it or anything, but I’d like to finish the collection by end of the year. (My old goal was by end of summer, but, well, yeah…) I haven’t been working on these novelettes because I’ve been concentrating on the short stories, but I’ve hit a wall with them (no ideas). Then I realized, “Wait, these novelettes are sci-fi and I really, really want to write them. I know, I’ll turn them into short stories! I can always go back and make them longer later if I decide.”

So that’s my plan right now. You’re excited for me, I can tell. Shucks, thanks, dolls.

I’m also working on coming up with more tips and tutorials, too. (Don’t worry, that hasn’t totally faded away.)

What about you? Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? What are you going to be working on?

WTT: Mind Your Space

Hey guys. I’m busy working on the remaining short stories for my short story collection. I’m currently stuck on one in particular; I’m working out the plot details right now. I’ll be starting a new day job in a couple weeks, so that’s pretty exciting. Means less time for personal writing, though! I’ve given myself the goal to complete my short story collection (not necessarily all the editing) by the end of the summer. Let’s see if I can do it. 😉

Well, today is Writing Tip Tuesday. Today, I want to talk about space. I’m sitting here in my homemade cozy library/study and I’m realizing that where you write is very important …

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Tip: Sure, as writers ideas can come to us anywhere–bars, parks, the mall, whatever–but it’s a good idea to have a designated spot where you do your serious writing and editing. A cozy armchair, a study, a corner of your local library. Just pick a place where you feel most comfortable and creative; this way you are not distracted by outside man-made and/or environmental factors.