Angel With The Robotic Arms

Shitty Fact #2,847,942: I’m not the only unique starfish in the sea; there are many people who want to be a professional writer, a famous author. And we each think we’re the special one. We each think we’re the prettiest fucking raindrop gracing the earth with our presence. Doesn’t matter. We all fall into the same ocean. We all drown with each other. I’m not unique, creative, or the next Great American Author. I’m just another desperate bipolar schizophrenic with a pen.

Unrelated but related side-note: I finished a short story for NaNoWriMo. I was pretty excited when I started it, but by the end I realized it’s a piece of shit. And not because it hasn’t been edited. It’s just plain shit….It is an odd, out-of-body experience to read your own work and see it for what it truly is…

#woeisme #idon’tcarethati’mwhining #nowiwanttowatchmetropolisforsomereason #thisisnothowyouusehashtags

Angel with the Robotic Arms
JCD Kerwin

we’re all just broken ‘bots
that walk
in sad, grey lines,
in time
with each other.
but with each new tick
and metallic tock
of the Doomsday Clock,
we’re pulled off shelves
and bought,
second-chance
from second-hand
shops. we’ve got
no regrets except
that we gave up on ourselves
long before this world.

(Dec. 2014)

The Sun Looks Brighter from the Inside of a Jail Cell

So that publisher rejected my ms. Not altogether surprising, I know. But, eh, it’s okay; it was rad that they even asked to read it….Also, I’ve already sent a query to another one. (I got a list a mile long! The industry will be so sick of my name after I’m through with it! HA.)

Anyway.

The rejection doesn’t even bother me (though it sucked). I’m bothered by my own creative apathy. Not sure what’s going on, but I can’t and don’t want to write anything. Except I have tons of ideas. I just don’t want to write any of it because I think there isn’t any point; it’ll only come out like shit anyway. Stupid reason….The whole shebang is kind of like being stuck in a jail cell, except you’re not really stuck because the door’s wide-open, and you could escape if only you took a step.

But.

Reading all your stuff is rather inspiring. (Though, also more depressing because your stuff is helluva lot better than mine.) So, maybe I’ll try to write something. NaNoWriMo is coming up, too, and I’d really like to do it this year instead of making up grandiose excuses for why I can’t do it. What am I gonna do instead? Watch TV? Nothing good is on anymore…’cept “The Black List.” That show’s cool.

Also, I’ve been binge-Netflixing (that’s a fun word) “Luther.” Check that shit out. Now.

Dangling Modify This, You Witch

See what I did there?

Dangling Modify This, You Witch
JCD Kerwin

Spoon.
If you haven’t a clue
how to do
my job,
then don’t pretend
my occupation
is a waste of your
consideration.
It makes you look
like an arrogant fool
(and frankly,
an asshole).
It also puts me
in the annoying position
of having to dig
through your mountain of bull
with only a

(Sept. 2014)

Shuffle and Replay

Broken headphones by nessieblack09 (deviantART)

Shuffle and Replay
JCD Kerwin

Sometimes (a lot of the time),
my favorite part
of each day
is when I’m ignoring the world
with tunes.

Because sometimes (a lot of the time),
it’s nice to pretend
I’m not me
and I’m not really sitting here
at all.

(Sept. 2014)

EXHAUSTion

Work’s been adorable.

EXHAUSTion
JCD Kerwin

Old guy next to me
is rollin’ down the window of
his big rig.
He lifts a match and
lights up on his cig—
arette.
Got the ugly kind of face
to match
my darling dis—
position.

(Sept. 2014)